What is our Value? Priceless
Don't Let People Determine Your Self-Worth
Were you ever intimidated or manipulated to feel worthless?
The people around you influence how you think or see yourself.
I mastered personal relationships to find supportive people. A friend in middle school was a constant bully. I never put myself in this type of situation again.
Toxic Workplace Devalues Me
I never could get the lesson from workplace people. (Do they overvalue themselves and undervalue me because my staying power is my paycheck held hostage?)
I have been lucky and it is only the bosses that wanted to use me. I never subscribed to the principle that you stay with one company and retire. That seemed to much ownership.
I was not a perfect employee all the time and made my share of the mistakes.
I usually got bullying when issues were called on the carpet.
They could have said ‘hey we got a problem and lets see what can be done to fix it’. Instead it was a reprimand that I couldn’t think for myself.
I was always looked upon as a liability instead of an asset.
I worked long hours and went above and beyond when called for. I ran impossible situations for years. I moved on when my usefulness was over.
The final break was when I was employed at a company for almost a decade. I worked long hours and gave up all of my self expression and just lived for my job.
Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people's buttons.
-Travis Bradberry
When there was a problem, I was belittled and threatened with the very job I actually hated. The last day I left, there was no thanks for my service or even a goodbye. I just turned and walked out the door.
There is no way this could be a happy work situation.
Sharing my story, I found this is very common theme.
No wonder that there is no loyalty.
Feeling no value, all you would care is about the paycheck. Everyone wants to feel they matter.
Lesson of How Community Can Work
Luckily, I saw what a supportive community looks like.
I was a part of this community years ago.
I lead a spiritual group that had a variety of members. I accepted the leadership role because our current leader was leaving. Current leadership was a form of bullying, not as harsh as the workplace, but it was still bullying.
I didn’t want to see this continue.
Everyone a part of this group deserved more.
A meeting was called where leadership shouldn’t fall to one member. No one person can do it all. (Maybe that is why the bullying started?) We agreed on this and started the process of forming a community.
We formed bylaws of group interactions and what was expected of the members. Everyone was valued and everyone was heard. No member was favored over anyone else. People were encouraged to demonstrate their strengths and supported what wasn’t a strength.
Community lasted six years.
Community held as someone tried a take over as a sole leader. There was support of the community to keep it democratic.
I have seen what community can do and it still isn't enough. I still have the devalued idea in my head.
After 2 years of quitting, I am still angry and worthless.
Battle With Ego And Energy
My ego and their voices delight in telling what is wrong with me. How I don’t measure up to their standards. I don’t feel good in the rest of my body either.
I can’t even tell you on what issue I feel worthless. I can’t tell if it is me as a person, as a woman or what I have achieved. (I was the only one at the company that had the right degree for certifications they needed.)
I just know that it is there.
I can see their faces and the look that I am not good enough. It was me in the situation that was wrong. Again my inner wisdom says it’s not all my fault. But my body doesn’t know this.
If you get your ego in your way, you will only look to other people and circumstances to blame.
- Jocko Willink
We have all been here. In relationships that we feel that we have no worth. It can be anywhere. How much money we have, who we love, what we look like, what our experiences are, our health and the list can go on.
My inner wisdom tells me if someone feels threatened by who I am or what I represent, I scare them on some level. How do I take this advice and feel it in my heart and body?
How Do I Know I Have Value?
That is the tricky part. How do you know that you have value down to your toenails? That every atom of yourself you have worth and they were wrong?
The first piece of information I knew was to get myself out of the situation. I didn’t need the energy feeding into me when I had enough of it already. Hence why I quit.
The voices still have space in my head.
I absorbed so much negative energy it’s woven into my normal energy.
Suddenly, I thought about my heart. I have gone to my heart previously to feel love for myself. My heart intelligence knows what I am worth. My heart tells me that I have value.
Body Wisdom To Rescue
So I go to my body to see where this negative energy is held. I ask my body to show me where this energy is contained.
Then I sink into my body and find out where this is all really located. Your body will tell you.
Is it the tightness in the shoulders and neck? Is it in the back? You will probably find several spots that hurt or ache or make themselves known.
Is it the way that you walk? Is it in your posture? These are the energy points that need attention. (Honestly at this point my whole body aches.)
I now tap into my heart.
I feel the love that it has for me. It tells me of the value I have.
I focus on the first point in my body which holds negative energy. The base of my skull. I bring love from my heart to this point and let it sink in. I keep moving through my body until I hit all the points.
After I am done with this I notice 2 things. I don’t see the faces in my head anymore and my body is radiating love for myself.
I feel that I have a lot to offer to the world. I don’t feel like I am nothing but the gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe.
A New Tool In Toolbox
I know that I am going to sink into this again. But at least now I have a tool that I can use to get wisdom from my brain to my body.
There are so many situations where we feel worthless. It doesn't have to stay that way. This simple exercise can help when the voices in the head become to strong.
Don't argue with the voices because they get stronger and the story starts. It can take valuable time to pull yourself out of this. Don't let the cycle begin.
The next time the voices become to much, try this exercise. Change the energy in your body and the mind will fall right behind it.
When your energy tells you that you are priceless, then your life will start to reflect it. Energy flows. Give yourself the benefit of valuable energy.
You start attracting the community to yourself that values you.
You have worth. Don't let anyone tell you different.