Not putting thoughts or feelings into other peoples heads is something I struggle with. I think I know exactly how that person must be feeling. I feel sadness thinking that another person is sad, without actually knowing. I make decisions on how I act based on what I think that person is feeling. Even when I don’t know them and have never spoken to them. Like I’m this all knowing being. When the reality is I can’t even sort out my own thoughts and feelings.
I know it’s a survival thing. You anticipate what people are thinking or feeling so you can do what you need to protect yourself. It’s from my childhood trauma. That’s how I survived having to rely on unreliable adults to take care of me. Anticipate their requirements of you. Anticipate what will make them angry or upset. Stereotypes, boxes, labels, thinking you know what someone else is thinking or feeling. It seems to all be related.
Not putting thoughts or feelings into other peoples heads is something I struggle with. I think I know exactly how that person must be feeling. I feel sadness thinking that another person is sad, without actually knowing. I make decisions on how I act based on what I think that person is feeling. Even when I don’t know them and have never spoken to them. Like I’m this all knowing being. When the reality is I can’t even sort out my own thoughts and feelings.
I know it’s a survival thing. You anticipate what people are thinking or feeling so you can do what you need to protect yourself. It’s from my childhood trauma. That’s how I survived having to rely on unreliable adults to take care of me. Anticipate their requirements of you. Anticipate what will make them angry or upset. Stereotypes, boxes, labels, thinking you know what someone else is thinking or feeling. It seems to all be related.
I jump there but quickly remind myself that it could be stereotypes.
I probably would have made the same assumption about the knitting lady when I was in my twenties.
Even now, sometimes.
Those stereotypes and unconscious bias are hard wired into us from a young age.