How A Tarot Card Picture Helped Me Make Sense of My Car Accident

Learning To View Making Plans Differently

I made plans for the next 6 months.

How to grow my writing while working a part time job.

Then I was in a car accident. I rolled my truck and totaled it.

This turned my life upside down. My plans were tossed out the window.

No truck, no part-time job. I had to quit.

Why Did This Happen?

When things like this occur, I try to make sense of the incident. There is meaning in everything we do. Understanding the incident also helps to process the trauma of what happened.

I turned to my tarot cards.

Tarot cards are not for fortunetelling.

Tarot cards are for looking inward at the state of a person. This is based upon the esoteric principle of ‘as above, so below’. The outer world is a reflection of the inner world. The opposite is also true, the inner world reflects the outer world.

I have always gotten amazing insight into situations and myself.

I learned through my tarot practice that one inner decision changes the future instantly. It is so much more important to understand myself and what I believe.

The Tarot Card Picture Can Be A Doorway

One of my favorite tools using the tarot cards, is imagining the picture like a doorway. I visualize myself stepping into the picture.

The card for the accident, I drew was the 8 swords. The picture shows a woman imprisoned in a cell of swords with a blindfold. Her hands are not tied, so she stays inside the sword circle with the blindfold voluntarily.

As I started the visualization, I saw myself becoming the woman and taking off the blindfold. I saw the swords around me, blade first in the ground. I felt shock. I saw littering the ground all the plans that I made for my life that never came true.

All of these broken plans were within the sword circle around me.

Plans how I wanted my life to look. How my career was going to go. Where I was going to live. Plans changed over the years but they were all there.

The most recent plan was to work 20 miles west of my town and then work  on my writing around my work schedule. I would then in a few months been able to transfer back to my town working for the same company. It was a solid plan.

I was very frustrated the plan blew up.

Frustrated by plans not working, I swore there was no reason to make a plan anymore. It seems like the world just tears it down.

I felt that even my plans for my writing were pointless. Nothing ever seemed to work.

But with the blindfold removed, there were some hard truths to be seen.

How I Went Off Plan

Before I started looking for a job, I set some criteria that the job had to meet:

• Reduce expenditure so I wanted to work close to home

• Something simple so I wouldn't invest in it or bring it home so I could stay focused on my writing and other projects

• Part time work so I would have the time to write

• A job that let me be physical because I wanted to make sure I walk and build stamina for my projects at home

The job I chose had none of the criteria. It was part time work, but because of the commute didn't really reduce expenditures.

I realized I had made a job choice based upon fear.

I was scared about not having an income, I took really the first thing that came along. I threw the criteria away. I let my fear or ego make the decision.

With the blindfold off I could see what time I wouldn't have because I would be stressed or tired when I got home and definitely wouldn't write.

Back in the picture again I looked at the plans that were laying inside the sword circle.

I noticed the same thing about the other plans. They were made by my ego. Plans made so that the world becomes controllable and safe. Everything is under control.

Life doesn’t work that way. There is so much that we don’t control. My accident is an example. Who plans for something like that? It is just one of those freak things that happen.

But to really understand how much I plan for control is to go back to my childhood. When I was young and my father died one day. One day he was there and then the next he was gone.

Plans Can’t Control Events You Can’t See

The unexpected can happen, so I plan as much as I can to mitigate the damage. This type of planning doesn’t work. I can’t plan for unexpected events.

I couldn’t plan to control my father dying or a car accident.

When you wear the blindfold, its easy to see the life that you want. My plans were always small and safe. I didn’t trigger anything and never had to come out of my mind to see that the bigger world is there.

I could pretend that I have everything under control. I was safe and small.

Once you take the blindfold off, you can’t put it back. I have grand plans for  my writing in my head where they live comfortably. I can think about things and take small actions that don’t scare me or threaten me.

All choices can be done safely and in a timely manner.

All of this is absolutely an untruth.

Fear Makes Horrible Plans

Something happens I don’t plan on and I immediately scramble to get control of  it. Planning for what we see in my head, and not what is in the reality.

Having no plans makes the fears come out strongly. There is no control here. I can’t even imagine now what the future is going to look like because all the ego plans that I had are gone.

As I look at the plans around me in the visualization, I am glad that they didn’t come true. If they come true, then I wouldn’t be where I am right now. I really like where I am. It has brought me back to the basics.

Stepping Outside The Sword Circle

Back in the card, I see myself stepping beyond the boundary of the swords. Without the blindfold, I see what is in front of me.

I realize what is important to me. I set the work criteria back in front of me. Sadly, not having a car is going to reduce the expenditures. I am going to have to walk and bike everywhere for awhile. That gets the exercise that I was looking for.

Feeling bold now, I decide that I am going to put the plans together and create something bigger.

I am going to have the vision of what my life looks like.

When Vision Replaces Fear Planning

Vision is very different than planning.

Plans are details that change. Vision is what you want life to look like. I want freedom. An idea of what that looks like. Not a lot of specifics but what freedom might look like.

I have a compass point here.

I can see clearly now. There is no story for my brain to latch onto.

With a vision, I can change the plans as I need to. This keeps what I want life to look like in front of me. I don't grow attached to the plans, because they are made by what I see in front of me.

It is okay for plans to change.

Plans are written in pencil on paper that can easily be erased or changed if needed. With the blindfold off, I can see the bigger picture and change as my life changes. Flexibility is the key. You can't be flexible if you are blind and don't see what is in front of you.

Ego or fear doesn’t make good planning. It is better to see without the blindfold. Opportunities are in front of you if you see them.